The day is today. The time is now. And now is the time I am officially launching my twitter account.  I have so many people to thank for this occasion.

To celebrate the momentous event I will be holding a rally on the lovely island nation of Tokelau, where I will frolic among the masses and allow myself to be adored.

While there is no sea port or runway in Tokelau, guests are invited to enjoy the quaint barge ride from the nearby atoll of Nukunonu. Upon entry, you will be greeted by the nation’s Minister for Natural Waste.

Guests are kindly reminded to compensate their barge captain. He is currently accepting payments in Levis jeans. 

Thank you for your continued support.